Tomorrow’s Freedom

Posted by in in progress, when people are people

Today’s surrender is tomorrow’s freedom. We come to you and lay our burdens down. (All Sons and Daughters) Last week came and went so fast and I was so tired through it all that I didn’t really feel or take note of what was happening, just finishing what was required. By the weekend, I was just wandering around in a daze. I couldn’t wait to get out of the city after work and I just stopped replying to messages, putting everything on hold until when I felt like it. (I…read more


For later

Posted by in truth thursday

(This is actually for my Truth Thursdays last week…)   Today. I left behind everything that I owe. Replies to text messages. Audio recordings I have to upload at our church websites. My credit card bills. That meeting I have to set. The plans I have to implement for the writing group for the media ministry for my work. The dinner I had to cook. Because it’s Saturday. And I’m tired. And sometimes to just feel better I leave these behind And just get back to them later.  


Neither Here nor There

Posted by in truth thursday

“Tell me stories, Steffi!!!” my friend yelled above the music. She, being a single mom doing freelance work mostly from home so she can take care of her two year-old son, insists on living vicariously through me, her “single and available” friend who’s always out and about. I just stared at her, wracking my brain for A Story, something that would merit her trip through the traffic just to meet me tonight for dinner and drinks to Catch Up. “I’m out of stories!” I said, just a hint of despair…read more


Truth Thursday: I am Here

Posted by in personally speaking, truth thursday

    When Sky first learned how to play Hide-and-Seek, she didn’t really get it at first. She would make us count with our eyes covered while she looked for a hiding place, hysterically giggling all the way. At the count of ten, we would shout, “Ready or not, here I come!” And after a few beats, she would yell back in her tiny voice, “I’m here!” Lately, even if I am almost 30 years older than Sky, I find myself playing Hide-and-Seek too, but operating on weirder mechanics: “You…read more


Out of the dust

Posted by in when people are people

Yesterday, through happily teary eyes, I witnessed my good friends Daphne and Aleks get married.Until now I can’t tell their story without getting a lump in my throat because it’s just heart-achingly beautiful. Yes, it has a lot of heartbreak and a Great Sadness at the beginning, but it also has courage, faith, redemption–and love that just did not give up. Watching it come together in that fine end of summer afternoon in Tagaytay was just amazing. “Your story gives me hope,” I wrote at the back of my place…read more


The Ride of Your Life

Posted by in in house, in progress

I’ve been contemplating about the subject of truth and love all week. How, as followers of Christ, we can live in the tension between the two of them. If you haven’t felt the tension, or haven’t really thought about it, think of the last time you had to forgive a friend or a loved one over something BIG. There’s always that struggle in us to forgive because while we want to love and make our relationship right with that person again, we don’t want to dismiss or forget what had…read more


Dear God, it’s me Stef

Posted by in just between You and me

Dear God, It’s me again. I need you, because I’m doubting again. I’ve been doing (and not doing) things that make me doubt that I belong to You at all. Is this how to approach this realization from the other side– from the side of someone who’s grown up on everything that a good Christian should know, all the words that are needed to be said and heard, all the catchphrases and the terms of someone who is in the inner circle? But then, I know what I ought to…read more


God in the Tornado

Posted by in life and death

Last Monday (US time), a massive tornado ripped through an Oklahoma suburb and killed 24 people. Ten of them were children who were in the elementary school at that time. I remember reading a friend’s Facebook status last Tuesday that she won’t sleep until all tornado warnings are gone and breathed a sigh of relief that even with all the typhoons that we get, we don’t get tornadoes–which is kinda like living in an area where dinosaurs can come rampaging through your neighbourhood at any time. At least, from what I’ve seen…read more


I need a reason to sing

Posted by in singing

When the pieces seem to shatter To gather off the floor And all that seems to matter Is that I don’t feel you anymore No I don’t feel you anymore I need a reason to sing I need a reason to sing I need to know that You’re still holding The whole world in Your hands I need a reason to sing When I’m overcome by fear And I hate everything I know If this waiting lasts forever I’m afraid I might let go I’m afraid I might let go…read more


too many endings

Posted by in in house, life and death, personally speaking

Said goodbye to too many friends, one after the other this year (and we’re only in the first quarter). Parents of friends have gone as well. I never thought this season will come so soon. My parents go to wakes and funerals all the time, because they are older now. Death happens with age. But my friends are all still too young, they don’t even have kids of their own, no retirement plans– let alone memorial plans. They’ve just started. They didn’t battle sickness for so long that it was…read more