Filed under: sometimes you just have to know…

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

This would have to be short. It’s been a really busy few weeks, and I haven’t had the time to sit down and gather my thoughts– there are a lot of them. I’ve finished a couple of books since I last posted, bought a few dresses, driven a few hundred kilometers, met new people, finished more than a handful of articles, celebrated, cried, sang, danced and ate a lot of good food.

God’s been filling up my days like it’s nobody’s business. Sometimes I still remember to stick to the 60-60 program, sometimes. It’s just that I’ve been moving almost non-stop, moving from one task to another with such urgency that I’ve never felt before. Like I just have to keep on going and going and going.

But there’s no panic, just this energy that I couldn’t explain. My recklessness is back ten-fold, but this time it doesn’t feel like I’m just free falling and bracing myself to hit the ground.

Quite the opposite, really.

One day I just stopped and saw what’s happening to me these past weeks into the 60-60 experiment. I’ve been learning a lot about God’s love– for me, for everyone in this world. And while I have been drilled with all the Bible stories and verses about God’s love, this time, it’s like I’m being shown a new dimension of it. I’m experiencing it in a way that it gives me a greater sense of security in my position as His daughter. For someone who’s been a Christian all her life, this isn’t supposed to be something new, right? But it feels so new, and exciting! And it’s not the security that gives me permission to be complacent, but it all the more gives me reason to keep on moving, keep on exploring, finding new adventures in this life. It’s the love that gives me the courage to jump, knowing that even if I fall, I can get back up.

It’s all so awesome!

Unfortunately, I have to go now. It’s nearly 2am and I have to get up at 4am for a team building thing later. Today was a full day too… I hope I get to blog about it. I took notes. haha! anyway. gotta go. I’ll leave you with some pictures from my last few weeks just to show how it’s been really crazyfuninteresting over this side of the world.

The gate is wide
The road is paved to moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
It’s safe and sound and
Until now it’s where I’ve been

The future’s wide open these days. A new President (even if I didn’t vote for him), new horizons, new opportunities, possibilities and responsibilities. I’m in a season where I’m in a place I know to be safe and secure, a perfect place to be when I’m recuperating from the last adventure and planning on jumping off to another one in the great wide somewhere. While it’s nice to be in the middle ground while I’m healing, I don’t want to waste my time playing it safe anymore.

Cause it’s been fear
That ties me down to everything
But it’s been love, Your love
That cuts the strings

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,” God’s Word declares. Oh to soar in the wind not be afraid to fall! It’s funny how I still get that slightly worried feeling whenever I do jump out in faith, even if I do know that God’s never let me down ever. I guess it’s only because I can never predict what He’ll do next. But whatever He does always turns out to be awesome. Anyway, where’s the courage in complete certainty? All I have to know is the one who loves me.

So long, status quo
I think I’ve just let go
You make me wanna be brave
The way it always was
It’s no longer good enough
You make me wanna be brave
Brave, brave

I want to be brave. I want to keep on moving forward, living in today, today, today, and leaving tomorrow in the hands of the One who knows what’s in store. All I need is the courage to make the next step after the last one. I can’t be happy with status quo when I know that the world and the universe and the One who made them is much bigger than I can ever comprehend. I want every minute to count knowing my God and everything and everyone through Him.

I am small
And I speak when I’m spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
To say Your name
Just Your name, and I’m ready to go
Even ready to fall

I will move forward in Your name, Your name alone. I know that not everything will be easy, and yes, I will fall. But with You, every fall is in forward-motion, and You are my healer. So I am willing to risk it all.

Why did I
Take this foul compromise
Why did I
Try to keep it all inside

I don’t know why I’m still afraid or nervous even after everything. I guess I’m just too aware of my own weaknesses and failures in the past to be completely confident. But God help me to move forward and be brave despite them.

I’ve never known a fire that didn’t begin with a flame
And every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if You believe in me
That changes everything

It all starts with one spark, one drop… being the first to step out can be lonely. When I look at just myself, I don’t believe that I can get anywhere (at least, not without blood. haha!), and I don’t see why I always find myself in situations where I’m in way over my head. It always takes a second for me to realize that the one who made and designed me knows what I am capable of, and believes that I would choose to swim even when it gets too deep and I can’t see the shore anymore.

I look back and see that in most cases, it’s because God has placed me in situations beyond what I know I could handle I find out what I am capable of– because He’s with me.

It’s amazing to realize that the God of the universe believes in you more than you believe in yourself.

Now what to do with that realization?

Be brave.

(Brave, Nichole Nordeman)

(Stef)

Hi! How are you? I’m just posting this blog before I run off and get ready to get to work. Yes, I’m still in the house, but i’ve been up and working since 5:30am (four articles finished in 24 hours!). Yes, that’s what I did for the extra day in our weekend.

I have to confess, with all the work and traveling and gimmicks this weekend, I had a hard time sticking to the 60-60 experiment, but God did give me something to reflect on yesterday as I was wrestling with procrastination (internet is a black hole!!!) and it’s:

I’M THE ONE YOU ARE LIVING FOR.

Yes, that was my facebook status yesterday too. And it hit me hard. I’m living for God, right? So what am I doing procrastinating? If i was living for Him, shouldn’t I be striving for excellence in everything I do? My work is part of my witness to this world– just as my church and ministry are. Work is part of my worship and by coddling with procrastination, I’m just treating it as something unimportant and can be put off at the last minute and submit something half-baked as a result.

What does my work say about my God?

Anyway, something that I thought we should think about. It is my prayer that we do everything excellently because WE ARE LIVING FOR GOD and He deserves nothing less than the best. It doesn’t sound easy in theory, and it’s a lot harder living it out. Because I fail so much more than I succeed. Praise God that He has grace enough to forgive and to strengthen us beyond our limits.

So anyway… with my backlog done. I’m going to do my best not to procrastinate anymore. God’s been bugging me with it all this time, as if to tell me– how can I expect Him to do wonders in my life if I keep on letting myself be distracted by trivial things?! So yeah… more stuff to give up, more stuff to handle. But it’s all for Him.

Live today for God’s glory!

Last night, I saw my high school teacher’s Facebook status that no amount of self-hypnosis can make her like Mondays. It got me thinking that I used to love Mondays (because of certain pastor’s day off), but lately, Mondays have gone back to its old ways and habits that make me dread them again.

This morning, I was determined to like this Monday. I have a shoot this afternoon, a free lunch with Food Magazine, and I have a staff meeting this morning, and a free evening later that could turn out to be anything. But the Monday seems to be as equally determined to fight my happy perkiness by having a brownout at 4am, thereby ruining my plans of writing my article before I get to work, the ridiculous traffic all the way to Quezon City (it took me 2 hours and a half!), and an overdue article looming over my head.

But you know what? I still woke up singing (in my head) even as I was sweating. My cat is still sleeping beside me on the bed despite the heat, and that’s always a good way to make me smile. And I am reminded this morning of God’s consolation that brings joy to my soul (Psalm 94:18-19).

I texted some of my friends about seizing this Monday with rejoicing, including my highschool teacher who hates Mondays. I told her I’m trying to rekindle my joy for each day, despite the overwhelming circumstances. And she replied, “When you do, teach me how.”

So i’ve made up a step by step program to liking Mondays. I’m just making it up as I go along, but at least I’m road testing them already. hahahaha!

Step 1: Wake up singing. While this doesn’t come naturally, maybe with practice?

Step 2: Start with a declaration of praise, read your Bible (I like starting with Psalms in the day)

Step 3: Take a shower and dress your best!

Step 4: have a good breakfast ala carte! (from my friend Liza)

Step 5: smile. smile. and keep on singing!

Step 6: Keep in touch with God the whole day

Step 7: Make the most of every opportunity to make this day better for other people

Step 8: Always find something to be grateful about

Ok…. that’s it so far. But try it! If you have anymore suggestions on how to turn a Monday to an awesome day, leave it on the comment box below.

I hope you guys have an awesome great Monday with our awesome great God. May you be overwhelmed by His grace and extravagant love!

¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.

² Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

¹² Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

¹⁷ May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Psalm 90: 1-2, 12, 17)

I’m skipping the backlogged days (I’ve written drafts of the posts, but I’ll p0st them later), I just want to start the day with this prayer, a reading from my devotions this morning.

You know how it is when God’s Word just hits the spot– like you’ve just bitten into a soft burger bun and on to the actual burger itself– crusty on the outside but oh-so juicy inside– and the flavors burst in your mouth like warm, spectacular, comforting fireworks. That’s what Moses’ psalm was to me this morning. Talk about breakfast of the champions!

No, I’m still not feeling a hundred percent yet. I’m going to start driving again, I have to even if I still feel a little shaky. I’m praying that the nerves will steady once I get on the groove. It’s a long day ahead, that’s why I’m so glad for my spiritual breakfast.

That song got it right: “Everyday with you, Lord, is sweeter than the day before.”

Godspeed everyone!

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
(Psalm73:26)

This day was hard, emotion-wise. Everything may have gone smoothly and on schedule, but my heart was stuck on the breakup once again. It felt fresh again, and for once, I was glad for the traffic jam that let me have a lot of time to cry and pour out my heart to God.

I complained and whined. I asked God why do I have to be the strong girl– a complaint that I’ve had most of my life. Why can’t I just be the regular girl who can cry and be weak and heartbroken? Then I was interrupted with the thought, “Who say’s you’re the one who’s strong anyway?” And who says I don’t cry and I’m not weak? Ok, so I may not be heartbroken, but why do I keep on acting like I am? And that shut me up for a beat. I stopped complaining for a while and took out my Bible (yes, the traffic jam was that bad). Turns out, Psalm 73:26 was part of my Bible reading that day. Touche, God. Well, of course I knew all along that it’s not really my strength, but God, I’m so tired.

I wonder if Moses ever thought of making his friends put his arms down because they were already asleep during the battle of Rephidim.

Thinking about it now, that day was a like a battle for me. And God sent unlikely (well, not really that unlikely) friends to hold me up. M, my unofficial cheerleader, just kept on assuring me that I was awesome– and if he weren’t gay, he would totally hit on me (haha!). And J, my chocolate bear– who knew what it’s like to feel one thing despite knowing what is right, and has lived with that struggle all his life with no end in sight– just kept on telling me to hang on and move forward in faith and hope. For what else can we do, when things are beyond our control?

At the end of the day, I found myself talking to another friend in her room while she struggled to hold herself together under the pressure of everything that she had to finish at work and at church. We shared our struggles and gave each other encouragement. And I prayed for her– something we both needed. She needed it because she was so stressed and lonely, and I needed to get out of my head and share the strength that I had been given to help out a sister.

Thank God for friends, Christian or not, God uses them just the same to comfort and to teach lessons that should have been learned several times before.

For some reason, I really thought that life would get easier during the 60-60 Experiment but then again, if my desire is to grow even closer to God and go farther with Him in our journey, that’s not exactly going to happen all the time, right? If I want to see His strength, He would have to expose my weaknesses. If I want to be healed, I have to show Him all my wounds. If I want to minister, I would do it with all transparency, because I’m a person saved and sustained by grace too. Kinda scary, right? But onward we go!

It all started with  a prayer on the way home yesterday. I was asking God to bless my plans for tomorrow (today) when I realized what I was doing and stopped. Then I just said, “What about I just go along with Your plans for tomorrow? What are your plans, Lord?”

Apparently, nothing like the plans I had in mind.

My plan was pretty simple and very official: leave the house at 9am, get to Alabang at around 9:40 to pick up garage sale donations from Alabang Hills, get on SLEX just in time for the colorcoding window (10am-3pm), pick up more garage sale donation from Rheea’s and then to the office for the meeting with the bosses at 2:30am. The 7pm, SAM team training at church. Turns out, God’s plans for me for Thursday didn’t include any of that.

This happened instead: Ninna took the car to Alabang for her very important appointment with a client, and I will just hitch to the MRT with mom and Sherie. I started feeling really sick. But I forced myself to get out of the house because I didn’t want to miss the meeting. If I was going to get sick, I reasoned, Friday would be the best day because all I had for that day was a seminar and a party I could afford to miss. On the way to the city, I was informed that they had moved the meeting to another day, so I didn’t have to go anymore. I ended up riding with my mom, sky and sherie to MOA and Manila, just finding a resting place where I could. I got back home at 5:30pm. Did some babysitting, and ended up (despite trying very hard to avoid it) sleeping at 11:30pm. I didn’t even get to write anything that day, except a few tweets and a facebook status update.

The thing about this day though was I got to spend time with my Mom, my sister and Sky. I also got to spend a lot of time getting used to my phone ringing every hour to remind me to get my bearings with God. Mom and I got to talk about her concerns in my growing involvement with my ex-boyfriend’s church, and I got to explain to her my reasons for staying. I also got to tell her about the 60-60 Experiment and encouraged her to do it; she got to tell me about my Dad’s concerns about money and retirement. I got to pray for my dad when my phone’s alarm sounded soon after that.

While I didn’t get the rest I was expecting, the day was a good break from my regular pursuits, and I got to spend a whole day with some of the most important people in my life. I haven’t been home most of the time for the past few weeks, and God gave me a whole day with just them and no work! And I suppose, in a little way, it gave my mom some assurance to see for herself that I’m doing more than just fine.

I know that God won’t necessarily give me a day off every time whenever I let Him take over, but Day 2 was a gift, I realize it now.

The 60-60 Experiment is basically taking a minute out of every 60 for 60 days to stop and be conscious that God is with me right now. Thus, knowing that brings me to the next thought, which is, “What is His will for me at this moment?” The whole point is developing a habit of communing with God minute-by-minute.

This isn’t exactly new. I’ve actually been doing this already, but it’s not like I’m conscious of doing it continuously. I’m sure, hours have passed that I haven’t talked to God (mostly while I’m playing Plants vs. Zombies. heh). For the 60-60 Experiment, I followed the instructions and set my phone to ring every hour with a reminder “Re: 60-60″ every hour for the next 60 days… well, only from 6am to 11pm. I should be asleep in between those times. hehe

If you’re doing this with me, it would also be nice to encourage other people to join you. My friends from the Single Adults Ministry (SAM) from WINmakati have agreed to meet for lunch every Sunday after the service to discuss about our own 60-60 Experiment experiences. If you don’t have a group, do blog or post a comment here about your breakthroughs.

If you’re just starting, here’s the Truth Thursday prompt to get you started. for your minutes, you can meditate on the characteristics of God… so the prompt for today is:

GOD IS…

INSTRUCTIONS FOR TRUTH THURSDAY:

1. Every Thursday, i will post a question or a prompt on this blog and participants will write something that answers the question or was inspired by it. (or post pictures or artworks!)
2. Participants who wrote something for that Thursday must leave a link on the comment box of that day’s prompt to let people know that they have posted.
3. TRUTH THURSDAY must be on the Title of your entry, followed by the question (so people will know).
4. This does not have to be emo– although these things tend to be a bit on the emo side, but TRUTH THURSDAYS are meant to be a fun way to bond through blog, and to get people writing and posting something meaningful and real. (disclaimer: this isn’t to say that you’re not doing so already!)
5. No pressure. Just be inspired and post something!
6. Be TRUTHFUL!

++++

So, about Day 1… it’s normal, except that my phone buzzes every hour to remind me. Since this has already been a habit anyway, it didn’t really break my stride. But I love it every time my phone rings with the reminder.

I attended the midweek service at WinMakati as usual. And I take the time to sit in my car for a few deep breaths and a prayer. This is supposed to be a secret, but since it’s part of the experiment now, I might as well share it… I’m always anxious and nervous whenever I go to church. Not because I’m not sure if I should stay, but it’s just part of the post-break up process, I guess… the dread. hahaha! But as soon as I’m inside and just hanging out, the nervousness go away and everything is all right in the world again.

Consciously praying more now also helps me see the need and be more sensitive to the need around me. Which is cool.

Ok, I’m sleepy and tired now, but I can’t wait for tomorrow. It has no mistakes in it yet.

i was a zombie at work yesterday (kahiya), still recovering from last week. I’ll blog about my marvelous week soon.

For the meantime, I want to tell you guys that I’m going on the 60-60 Experiment. I stumbled upon a book called Soul Revolution last week in OMF and browsed through it, getting that feeling that I usually do when I know I should get the book. Anyway, I bought it last night and just started on it before stopping to send you an invite to join me.

See, I’ve been a Christian all my life (and became a Christ-follower as well when I was eight years old) and every day since then has been a great and awesome journey. Well, I’m nearly thirty now (grabe no?) and I’ve seen God do wonders in my life and in other people’s lives as well. Every day, God’s been showing me just how much bigger He is compared to my concept of BIG (and I thought I already thought He’s BIG). Well, I want to see how much BIGGER He could get  but stepping it up with my faith even a bit more.

Anyway, I’m inviting you guys to do it with me. Can’t go on an awesome journey by myself right? Check out the website for more information on the 60-60 Experiment and let me know. I’ll be updating my blog as I go along, but it would be great to have some people with me so we can swap stories. Leave a comment and a link to your blog if you have decided to commit to this.

For the people who miss Truth Thursdays, I’ll be posting the questions and insights on Thursdays in lieu of our tradition so you can hop in.

Ready?