I have had several letters since I started this blog telling me that I’m “clinically delusional,” “a weak-willed, gullible, cowardly, intellectually inferior zealot,” “a religious loon,” and “the product of a third-world nation’s childhood indoctrination” (I think this one was the best) among a lot of other things. I have even invited some of them to explain their side of belief, but for some reason, all I got were more names and angry demands that I abort my children if ever I should get pregnant.
Julian Barnes, writer and a former “happy atheist” now turned agnostic, believes Christianity to be a foolish lie, albeit “a beautiful lie.” Poet Stevie Smith (who wrote one of my favorite poems, “Not Waving but Drowning”) called Christianity the same thing in her poem, “How do you see?” (a beautiful cruel lie, a beautiful idea, a beautiful fairy tale).
I’m not going into apologetics or anything of the sort. Or even get into why other people call it a “beautiful lie.” Last Friday’s email from A Slice of Infinity
But then again, this is me. My blog. I love it that I can see my God through everything and anything in this world. It’s not my religion, it’s my life. It’s who I am. This is my passion. Just as my friend Kat keeps her own blog about the power of crystals and other things mystical; or Ailene writes about her walks, travels, music in hers; April blogs about her love for food and travel (“Because there are always places to go and things to eat”); there’s the Chuvaness blog for the fashion and lifestyle news that I follow (even as I am in the magazine industry); even that atheist dude who gets mad at people like me (no I’m not posting his link because I don’t want to attract his attention more than I already have) has a website for his own beliefs, I’m grateful that the Wide World of the Web has space for everything and anybody, yes… even God.
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Foolishness. Beautiful lie.God telling us that to be great we must become the servant of all? To love our enemies? God’s Son born of virgin, delivered in a manger? God who became man to go hungry, get dirty, suffer, die in the hands of injustice? To die and be resurrected in three days? Beautiful foolishness. Or wise beyond our understanding?
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. (1 Corinthians 1:25)
I guess believing in an all-powerful God who is also good, who loves us and cares about the tiny details in our lives– a God who is also in control of this crazy world– could be a stretch. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe too. It’s much easier to believe in things that I can see and understand, to operate on what I do know, or what is empirically proven to be true. But I think that it’s even harder to believe that there isn’t a God who is in control… because what we know is so little compared to what we don’t know. And there are just too many things that are just beyond us.
As I’m writing this, I have friends and family who are basking in a post-long weekend high, working in their offices, enjoying good food, loving, laughing, living on a high. And I also have friends and family who are dying, sick, and in despair, hearts broken, going hungry… and I’m sure a lot more people who I don’t know are going through varying stages of these as well.
But this is what I do know. God knows them all. He knows their names. He has them in His hands, and there are things and circumstances and reasons that I still don’t understand, choices made and outcomes that I may not like, but that doesn’t change anything. My God is good and wise beyond comprehension. And He loves us. I see His love working in my life and in everyone and anybody who lets it in theirs. As for evidence that I could see, I’ll trust that.
If this is foolishness, then I’ll be a fool.