Archive for November, 2009

Oh Lord, I don’t know where to look. I don’t even want to open my eyes because I’ll see this… this horror, this inhumanity, this… I don’t know what to call it anymore. I just can’t wrap my mind around it.

Where are we going from here? Where are you taking us? We need You more than ever, when the people who are supposed to be in charge are failing.

Lord, my God, I know You’re here somewhere. I need to see You. We need to see you.

Let Your justice and righteousness reign, O God. We will wait on You.

“… we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”
2 Chronicles 20:12

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For more on the Maguindanao massacre: here, here, here.

it’s just one of those days when nothing feels right, nothing fits well, and i’m just so uncomfortable that i can’t focus my mind on anything. if you have been following my facebook status and tweets, you would probably be wondering what’s wrong with stef’s days.

truth is, nothing’s really going wrong. nothing out of the ordinary. it’s just an Off-day.

i saw it coming the moment i woke up this morning and prayed, “Oh Lord, it’s a Monday…” (i forgot what I already said, but it’s something along those lines). I made it a point to dress happy– maybe it could off-set the bloatyuglyicky feeling… well, so far, not really.

but what i do like about off days (not that i like them) is that it makes me focus more the task of Godspotting. where’s God in all of this?

my favorite one for today is the one i got this morning, on the road to work. i had my GoGear on while hugging my bag to my chest to hide my tummy and cleavage (both that are unusually extra visible for some reason) from other people’s eyes. I even texted it to myManu:

Me: I’m listening to one of the songs I used to like. It goes, “When I am weak, all the words I speak bring no passion anymore. And when I try for happiness in the midst of all this emptiness, all I want is You, if I only knew how to get up off this floor.” Now I know why I was depressed all the time in college. It feels good not to related to these songs anymore.

Manu: Yeah… I’m glad I listened to foreign songs then… I didn’t have to understand them…

Me: hahahahahahahaha! I’m all about words kasi. Now my songs go like this, “All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.” glorious!

Manu: Words are indeed powerful.

I’m just grateful my God doesn’t change and He doesn’t get off days. Because of that, there’s never a reason not to rejoice, never a reason to shake my fist at the heavens.

(Although it did feel good to hide under the table for a little while.)