And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

as the pressures at work and in my personal life (plus the monthly attacks of the PMS monster) are piling up on top of each other, especially these days, i find myself stopping in wonder at the peace that’s keeping me sane through everything.

the month of May and the early weeks of June hasn’t been an easy for me and especially to a number of people close to me. i’ve been to five wakes out of the six that i meant to go to– four people close to me had to bury their parents, my editor in chief lost his best friend the other week, seven days later, his dad passed away as well.  no way am i comparing my month to theirs.

but you know what i mean–those days when most of the things that could go wrong went wrong. we can’t even close our issue for this month (two weeks late!!!) when we were doing rather well before. i haven’t been getting sleep, my dreams have been disturbing. i get to the office in the morning, and i could already feel the strain. people that i count on have let me down…

but the peace! This PEACE that passes beyond understanding has been keeping me together. sure, there are times when i felt the tears trying to get out while on the way to work because i know what’s waiting for me when i get to the office. and there are things that are a wrench to give up, but i have to… when the river does not look peaceful at all.  but even if on the surface, everything is churning, i could feel the peace anchoring me, steadying me, holding me close.

it’s like finding a spot of pure stillness in the middle of this chaos, cold water in a really hot day, snuggling under a warm blanket in a really cold night, a soft soft pillow with fresh linen sheets, a bite of really good chocolate. that comfort that digs deep down and fills you with the warm fuzzies. and without fail, this peace makes me smile in the most random moments in a crazy day.

i’ve been called delusional and all sorts of names lately by people for this sort of conviction, but things have never been so clear when i finally admitted that even if there are things and circumstances that are beyond my control, there is One who is always in control. And the One who is in control is big enough to accomodate the smallest detail of every person’s life. and not only that, He cares about every one. He cares about me! And He wants what’s best for me! He’s never let me down before so I can rest easy on that thought.

this is the kind of peace that doesn’t get affected by what’s happening outside of me.

try to wrap your mind around that.

i guess that’s why they call it “the peace that passes all understanding.”